Trust Is Harder Than Control

I like to think I give people room to lead.

Most of the time, I do.

But I’ve also learned there is a big difference between giving someone responsibility and actually being willing to let them carry it.

That’s harder.

When you’re the CEO, you can usually see ten steps ahead. You’ve probably dealt with some version of the problem before. You know what question should be asked next. You know where things could go sideways.

And sometimes it would be so much easier to just step in and fix it.

But easier isn’t always better.

I’ve had to learn that every time I jump in too quickly, I may solve today’s problem while creating another one.

I become the answer.

And I don’t want to build an organization where everyone eventually works their way up the chain until Sheila makes the decision.

That’s not leadership development.

That’s dependency.

Trust Requires Restraint

There are times when someone brings me a problem and I already know what I think they should do.

My instinct isn’t necessarily to tell them.

I’d rather ask questions.

Sometimes they land exactly where I would have landed.

Sometimes they don’t.

And that’s where trust gets uncomfortable.

Because if I’m going to tell someone they own something, I have to give them enough room to actually own it.

That includes the possibility that they won’t do it exactly the way I would.

I can set expectations. I can ask questions. I can create accountability.

But I can’t say, “I trust you,” and then stand over their shoulder controlling every move.

That’s not trust.

That’s control with better branding.

But Trust Doesn’t Mean Looking Away

This is the part I’ve been thinking about more lately.

I’ve always believed in giving people opportunities to grow. I will coach. I will ask questions. I will give someone another chance to approach something differently.

Sometimes that’s exactly what a leader needs.

But I’ve also learned that there is a danger on the other side.

You can give so much room for growth that you wait too long to respond to a pattern.

One missed expectation is a conversation.

A repeated missed expectation is information.

At some point, leadership requires us to recognize the difference.

That’s something I’m still learning.

The question isn’t simply:

Do I trust this person?

A better question might be:

Trust shouldn’t require us to ignore what we can clearly see.

The Goal Isn’t Control

I don’t want to be the smartest person in every room.

I don’t want every decision coming through me.

And I definitely don’t want an organization that works beautifully when I’m involved and struggles when I’m not.

I want leaders who think.

Leaders who ask questions.

Leaders who make decisions.

Leaders who occasionally make a decision differently than I would and can explain why.

And yes, sometimes leaders who make mistakes and learn from them.

My responsibility isn’t to prevent every mistake.

It’s to build people and systems capable of recognizing mistakes, correcting them, and getting stronger because of them.

That requires trust.

But it also requires accountability.

I’m realizing the best leadership probably lives somewhere in that uncomfortable space between the two.

Not controlling every outcome.

Not ignoring every warning sign.

Giving people room to lead while being willing to act when the pattern tells you something needs to change.

I’m still learning where that line is.

Maybe that’s the point.

Sheila’s Challenge

Think about one person you lead.

Are you giving them responsibility while still controlling the outcome?

Or are you doing the opposite—calling it trust when the evidence is telling you it’s time to step in?

Before you answer either question, look at the pattern.

It usually tells you more than one moment ever will.

Keep breaking barriers.

— Sheila Greene